| EMERGENCY POWER SYSTEM by Elmer A. Hamoprater "hay agin mi ham radyio frend. i wuz jest thinkin abowt sum of mi ham raydio advintures an thawt i wud tel u abowt how i tryed to mayke a mergency genarater fer bak up lectricety fer mi ham raydio quepment. awl uf mi ham quepment has tu hav twelvolts tu wurk rite an i had ben havin alota truble weth tha lectrik cumpany cuttin mi lectric powur offalot on acount uf i wadden payin em lyke they thawt i shud. thes is how i tryed to mayke a mergency bak up genarater sistem sow i cud hav free lectric fer mi raydio quipment. i hav a creek abowt fore er fife hunered fut frum mi shak weth alota watur init most year rownd sow i got tha idear thet i cud us it fer a sorce uf powur ef i cud come up wetha wey tu mak lectricity frum it. i startid tu thinkin abowt it fer a whyle an i rememered i had an ol genrater frum a semeye truk thet had run ofa tha mownten awhyle bak. i herd tha dryver waddent hert much jest bruzzid up abit but tha truk wuza totul rek an i wuz abull tu tawk em entu givin whut wuz lef uf tha truk tu me. it wuz doun at tha bottum uf tha mownten and me an ol yep mi dawg shor hada tyme gettin awl them parts bak up tha mownten an tu tha shak. ol yep mi dawg shor ded wurk awful hard heping me git thim parts bak up thet grate big hill. it tuk him awlmost fore days tu git tha job dun. smart dawg my yep. i tyed a rope tu him an he pulled thim parts as hard as he cud up al tha way tu tha top. he shor hada tyme gettin tha ingine up. dum dawg mi yep. wel we finealee gotum awl bak bahine tha shak and i shor wuz tyerd an ol yep cuddant hardlee wawk sow i dacided tu git us a snak an i went an got yep sum rute beer an biskits an i got me sum lefover posume an a liddle sippin licker. yep lykes rute beer an biskits jest abowt as much as mi sippen licker an biskits. i wuz sow tyered thet i drunk a hole jar uf my gud ol sippin licker but i dont member much abowt eneything aftur thet. i gues i got off tha subjek aliddle but thes is how i tryed tu mak tha genrater. mi ol laydie wuz gone huntin sow yep an me had tha playce awl tu ourselfe sow i got tha truk genrater an an ol fan blade an yep an me wawked doun to tha creek. ther wuz an ol log hangin doun in tha watur sow i put tha blade on tha genrater an tyed tha hole theng owt on tha en uf tha log sow tha blade wud be terned bi tha watur an it wud tern tha genrater. i then wint bak to tha shak an got a hole armload uf tha antenner wire frum tha fince thet i rote u abowt ina nuther letter. wel i cunnected tha wire tu tha cunnecters own tha genrater an strunge it frum tha genrater tu awl tha trees tween it an tha shak. ol yep woke up abowt thes tyme an i gues he musta thawt thet we wur gettin mor antenner wire an he wuz suposed tu be mi test dawg agin sow up he sprung an wint ovur tu tha wire hyked his hine leg an let er fli. sparks flu an a big puf a smoke wint up an he let owt a great big yep an did a bak flip an run tu tha creek hine en furst justa bellerin. tha sparks cawt tha wuds on fire but ownly burnt doun a cupple uf akers acordin tu tha voluntear fire departmint. ol yep wuz shor mad at me fur a long tyme aftur that. tha fire wuz sow hot thet it meltid most uf mi antenner wire but it dident hurt tha genrater caws tha log it wuz own burnt ento an fell ento tha creek. ol yep lykes ta swim an play in tha watur sow sum day i will git hem tu fine it fer me. i wuz gonna sind u tha plans fer tha bak up mergency lectrical sistem but tha ol laydie used em in tha owt howse. i wil rite mor latur as suun as i git mor monie. i am stil payin tha fire dapartmint. ur frend elmer a hamoprater possem spit,tinasea pee ses i hope mi spellin is knot tu bad fer u. thes letturs geve me gud praktus UPDATE FROM "ELMER A. HAMOPRATER" This just came in the snail mail from Elmer's "ole layde" addressed to your's truly, N4UJW: Quote: deer ser eye presheate yur putin nem leters from elmur on yur websyte but he kant right eny mor fer a whyle. he es in jail. he got cawt gettin some mor uf that antenner wire frum our naybors bull yard fence an he cawlled tha law on em. the bull got out an tore down tha road after sum cows an they aint ceen hem cents. thay arested elmer an hawled em off to jail. hes dawg yep bit one uf tha depudies real bad in tha scuffal an tor hes pants clean off hes legs. thay shot at tha dawg but missed hem. he wus to fer up a tawl tree. that dawg must still be up en a tree sum wher skared to death. pour yep. elmer rote me a leter frum jail fer me ta let you kno thet he aint fergot abowt you puttin hes leters on yer syte but i fergot wher i put it. i was sapposed ta git it tu yu. eye thenk et es in tha owthouse. he sayed thet thay wud let em hav a ham radyo en jail ef he wus gud enuf so maybee he wil rite ya sune frum jail er cawl ya on tha raydo. et shore has been gud tawkin to ya ther at that ham uneverse dawt kom sow ial clowse fer now. yurs trule elmers wyfe ima hamoprater pee sess yu ken put thes on yer syte ef ya thenk et es allwrite sow hes ham budies will no abowt hem. UNQUOTE! Editor.....Thanks Mrs. Hamoprater...........I just did! eym glad ei downt spel lyke Elmur... N4UJW HI! ********************************************************************************************* Latest Update on Elmer (January, 2005) AJ4D,TIM, IN THE HILLS OF TENNESSEE; RELAYS THIS LATEST MESSAGE TO ME (January, 2005)) FROM ONE OF ELMER'S "FRIENDS" THAT HAS A BIT OF CONCERN ABOUT HIM! DO I DETECT A JAIL BREAK IN THE WORKS? Quoted directly from "clem's" message AND slightly re-edited for easier reading as follows: "n4ujw, I been sendin them leters that elmers been writtin on yur syte on out to tha ham oprators in tha tellico tenasee airrea. Tell hem we been sportin him won hunerd perscent frum over hear in the tellico mownens. My best frends frend has a frend who wurks in the korthowse in monroe kownty seshuns kort an I mite be abull to pull a few strangs fer him iffin he needs to git out of the slamer. we been billdin a whol slew of them antenners lyk hees ben billdin outter dem bull pens wirs. tell elmer , iffin hes outta the jayul yit, that we lerned a bunche frum him and hes idears . he mite git a job with the SERA peple or the ARL wit all thet teknikal cents hees got. I dun talked 17 miles on that wir antenner bilt outta tha bull pin wir . elmer got a gud idear on nem insalayters too to canekt tha wir to. 17 myles on 80 meaters is tha best I ever done an thet aint no ly !! 2 myles wit 200 wats wus my best til tha bull pin wir went up en flamse butt it never cowst me a dyme sow I wuzant ouwt eny muney! yurs truelie clem. pee s i aint givin ouwt mi call sine fer gud reezons cuz i aint gonna be elmers roomate! syned clem" THANKS TO TIM, AJ4D FOR KEEPING US POSTED! Elmer is still in jail over in East Tennessee from the latest info we have from him...... Here is another letter (slightly re-edited for easier reading) relayed to us February, 2005 from Tim, AJ4D "elmer,soree we gawt sidtraked this passt wekend. we awl ment to git u owt uf tha slammer, but we awl gawt to raydioin an popped tha kork on tha jug an u no how that eended up. we did git sum good dee x contaks tho on tha big ol raydio that charlee has. whyle we wur on 20 meeters some fellers frum the eff ce ce wuz on thar an they sed that we wuz all goin to get fine an I towld em we wuz feelin more finer ever minit. Dem fellers commince bout prop per pracedyours er sompen an we wuz tryin to figger wut them fellers wuz tryin ta git acros to us an I wok up tha nex mornin et hom. bak to dem dee x contaks. I tawked ta sum fellers way up over yonder in endeeya an over in afreeka an sum feller with a jay poll made outa closeline. Sum feller that charlee knows wurks oer in oke rige an giv charlee sum of dem big ol toobs an I put em in tha lil ol yayzu ef t 301 raydio that i gawt frum u. I tell u whut emer, hol on a minit an let me git me anudder siwg outta duh gug........... innie way we hadda put rons welddir kaybulls on tha ol 301 raydio caws it burnt tha pawer kord offin tha raydio caws i reckon it wuz pullin two much juse. I hookked it up onna tha too twenty braker on the barn an den run tha co aks to tha bull pin ware down on tha sidda tha rode. sum body musta throd out a sigerette or sumthin lass nite caws all tha grass is burnt off in undor thet bull pen ware plum out the holler fer bout for milz or so. I reckon u shood be bak with us by feel day. iffin u are , we will put tha ol yayzu ef t 301 bak on tha welddir cables n thro out yor closeline a few tymz. iffin we hadent hadda try to figgur out whut tha ef ce ce feller was tawkin bout, we wud have had mor contaks then tha seventen hunert en forty ate we gawtt in that nite. we bin tawkin bout goin up on tha mountnen.... bet we can tawk bedder up thar then upin tha holler. I reckin sumbode sed it is overr sics thowsan foot. I reckon u wud let us borree ol yep ta karre that big ol raydio up yunder fer us. well, emer, gotta go. tha ol laide is yeppin at me sumthin bout tha powwur bill bein overr cix hunurd dolars this tyme. them powwur fellars put sum kinna new meeters on tha howse an I bet that is whut run all tha powwur bills up. won lite down at that barn an my ol raydio is all the stuff I got that youses powwer. I dawnt no whut cudda run everbotties powwur bill up. it has to be tham new meeters they put up. well i aint gunna put p with them kinda powwur bills sow i got an ol ax i had layin a round an cut tha sukker off tha wall and put sum ol coper pipe in batween tha powwur wares....man i allmos got lektracuted an them sparrks shure ded fli but i gotter dun. now my powwur bill shud be alot lowur. jest gos to sho ya how ya ken put al thet lektronik thery ta gud use sum tymes. mi ol layde es yellin at me agin abowt wastin all thes payper on leters whin we cud bee putin et ta gud use in tha owthowse sow i beter syne off fer now. tawk ta ya agin reel sune... sebentie trees yur ham frends" MORE TO COME?.......N4UJW! Back to Ham Humor! Copyright 2002 - 2005 N4ujw Hamuniverse.com and OTHERS! |
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